Does your name affect your life?

A name is our identifying card, it represents us throughout our lives. So important, and at the same time, its bearer has almost minimal opportunity to make a choice. Our name is decided for us even before we are born. And sometimes several years before conception. But how many people are satisfied with their name? There is a legal possibility of changing the name, but how many people will really do it?

So, parents have to make first, one of many, very important decisions. Will it be a classic name or will they choose so foreign names? You may have heard the expression "nomen omen", loosely translated from Latin as name = characteristic. How the offspring will be named will remain with him for the rest of his life.

Few people realize how important it is to choose the right name.

Few people realize how important it is to choose the right name. And what does "right" mean at all. A given name forms the basis of our identity. The first identifying question is always: What is your name? The name carries an energy that can move forward, but it can also take the one down.

Stand in front of the mirror and say your name out loud. First of all, the first name. How do you feel about it? Who is looking at you from the mirror? A very easy exercise, but you can learn more than you would expect.  Repeat with your last name.  Did it give you energy or is it a nuisance?

In constellations, I often work with people who carry someone else's fate. I noticed that it is often the person whose first name they bear. In the past, it was customary to name descendants after ancestors or respected persons as a sign of respect. This year I took a deeper look at my family tree. I spent countless nights deciphering church registers. I brushed up on my Latin and found out that English was useless to me. What surprised me was the number of repetitions of names.

If the parents decided (voluntarily - involuntarily) that the first son (I do not write the first-born purposely) would be, for example, Johann, then they gave that name to every male offspring born to them. So, if the firstborn Johann died after a few months, the second-born son was named Johann. When he also died (the mortality rate of children under 6 years of age in the 18th-19th centuries was more than 50%), the next son was Johann. You can guess what the name of the next son was if Johann number three also died. This finding made me feel uneasy.

Johann I, Johann II, Johann III seem to have never existed. Just imagine that your parents had several other bearers of your name, and they all died before you. How do you feel? Does it feel like you are being fully you or being just a substitute for someone?

In Slovakia, it is not yet allowed to "invent" a first name. In the United States, there are no limits to imagination. Millionaire, Chardoney, Limoncello are not uncommon. In Slovakia, we are more traditional, but we are not lagging behind in creating traumas by transferring the name. A child named after a mother-in-law with whom the child's mother does not have a good relationship, but she has no choice. Or a child named after the first love of one of the partners, or after a brother who died a tragic death? Indeed, I know such name bearers. And their lives carry a lot of weight because of that name selection..

If you know me, you know that I also have an unconventional name. Alexandra. I like my name; I identify with it. I am named after my father's father because he had a warm relationship with him and admired him. My father's mother would not call her relationship with her husband really warm. And so, the choice of my name has already put me in the estranged role towards my grandmother. It took me 40+ years to realize this. Better later than never.

However, this does not make my name unconventional. It's my last name. Once a tarot card reader told me (2011) that I would marry a man with the same name. I found it very funny and impossible. A few years later, I met, I note the date 27.2 (in the Slovak calendar the name Alexander), with my future husband. Last name Alexander. I didn't pay attention to it at all, until after about three dates, he casually told me that his wife didn't have to have his last name. That it is not important to him. And that was the Oh moment for me. And definitely a haha moment.

With last names, it is sometimes even more difficult. They determine our genealogical identity. They associate us with our ancestors. In our patriarchal societies, a woman takes her husband's name by marriage, and also the children whom he recognizes as legitimate bear his surname. In some cultures, even today, a woman is expected to give birth to a son, who will bear the father's surname and thus preserve the family. Many fathers agree with the legitimacy of their children, but they reject the legitimacy of the relationship with the mother of their common children.  But why and why women allow that, that's for a different blog.

You may never have thought of finding out who or why they chose the name for you, or where your last name comes from. If you still have the opportunity, ask your parents, grandparents. You have the opportunity to learn something new about yourself.

If you feel that your name or surname takes away your life energy, come to the constellation workshop. Together we will look at what or who is burdening you on your life path.

Alexandra Alexander